Blatch’s Certified GOOD SHIT: The Post-Holidays Haul

Streets on Glock.png

It’s time for the first of many segments on this blog. Here is the one where I talk about my good shit. And hey… does the title remind you of something from Vice? It certainly does for me. Well, in this debut installment, I’ll be talking about what I got over the holidays. Let’s say no further and get right to it.

Episode 1: Combatting The Responsibility Doctrine

My life has become pretty interesting in the past year or so. I’ve learned to become an adult without actually moving out of the house and/or being tasked with a ton of responsibilities, which makes me feel lucky, yet not qualified. Between the me being on the autism spectrum like so many other Internet people and the me who loves hedonistic raving and ranting, composite me has got a lot to deal with. So I’ve been staying at home, studying for community college (not regular college, but this one is better since it saddles you with a lot less debt) and taking the hedonism in stride.

I also like to drink coffee.


Who in the shit uses a coffee mug made of glass?

This is the box of the Keurig whatzegipser I got. It’s a K15; very smol. You need to pour water in at the top, let it down into the hatch mechanism, and make sure it heats up. The waiting is annoying, but the coffee drinkeninny is not. Of course, in order to drink it, you need the right coffee mug. I already have one; my mom bought me another.

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*Intellectual property of a gay man

Here are the thrilling two of my coffee cups. The left one was given to me as a graduation gift from my aunt. My graduation was probably the best part of that godawful year, aside from me being taken in by nihilism… but you don’t need to know that. Meanwhile, the one on the right was given to me for Christmas. The G is for Gordon, my name, or Gawker Media. Sadly, the right one is superior for coffee drinking because it actually fits under the K15 while it’s fully constructed. So if you want to accuse me of being a smug-ass Deadspin plant who wants to infringe on your conservative viewpoints, now is the time. Come on, I’ve got all [indeterminate amount of time].


And here we have “At Least Pills Don’t Go Bad”, a very fine work of art I wish was attributed to Nathan Fielder

And as for K-Cups, I got a few from Dunkin Donuts. Since they have the New England area under authoritarian rule, I had to get some for my food hole. The French Vanilla stuff (not pictured) is especially good if you combine it with the right creamer. I do this Nestle flavor that’s supposed to be chocolate toffee… it reminds me of when Dunkin used to do a Heath bar flavored coffee. I drank the shit out of that Back Bay sewage water over the summer of ’16.

So let’s move on to non-coffee-related gifts. These guys in particular deserve some attention…


I’m sorry if the vertical-ness is making you wish you scroll too hard

Pajama pants! I love wearing these. Especially since my work schedule is completely blank until January 19th, when I go back to school, so I can wear them whenever I want. These two pairs were from Christmas. One has a bunch of hats on it, which fits rather unexpectedly well with my love of Team Fortress 2. The other has a bunch of dogs on it. We don’t own any dogs, but we do have one cat. His name is Rusty, because of the street we live on in… uh, the place. Seriously, even if you can figure out what street I live on in the world, it’ll probably take you about eight houses to break into before you find out where I am. It’ll be fun. Trust me.


Look at those loops! Also, crazy helix turns…

This is a roller coaster building kit from a company based out of Germany. It has some charming Engrish on the box. My aunt got it for me (the same one as the “Class of 2016” coffee mug) because she knows I like roller coasters, and I really like building them in computer programs, whether it be Rollercoaster Tycoon or a more sophisticated simulation program. Sadly, the apocalypse won’t be this fun to ride, but at least I’ll get a head start on all the free park visits I’ll ever want.

And finally, my entertainment selections for this year’s holidays included… not much. Even though I did get a Best Buy gift card which I have bought a few things with since, the actual Christmas haul were mostly squat. I didn’t get any video games, an unfortunate side effect of me being disillusioned by GamerGate and its assorted fringe groups and causes like it. Plus, I’ve found myself… getting a lot more with anime. I might explain that later.

But with that being said, here’s the entirety of the original Love Live! on Blu-ray:


Great job, me



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