Pink Bori Plushie, Number Six

Holy shit, it’s Altador Cup time! And my team are the defending champs. However, I do have to say: JumpStart’s acquisition of Neopets and its refusal to do any work has made the AC as stale as other general site events.

There’s a lot more left to the imagination: You basically have to imagine that every Yooyuball match is a rather vicious event with full-contact violence. And then there’s the matter of each team shifting their lineup. Mystery Island’s has been the same ever since 2012. And ever since then, neither Volgoth nor Selmon Woulf have managed to improve their vocabularies. It’s rather pitiful, honestly.

But when I first participated in the AC over a decade ago, players could get injured! This was only possible because the Flash file showed the players top-down rather than from isometric. So when that damn Techo got injured, Vela Binal came in and had his time to shine, and now he’s a veteran of ten years’ worth of cup action. It was amazing to see just how much lore TNT put into the event back then. The injuries, contract disputes, players mentioned but ultimately never even suited up so we don’t know their species and never will. It was amazing, but now? There’s no clowns, or lions, or tigers… or injuries. And candy floss; it only comes in lavender flavour now.

No clowns… but maybe you can help fill the void. Be the generation who wants to take over when JumpStart (or whatever holding company with the website) falls short. All of you, have a happy AC.


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