Blatch’s Certified GOOD SHIT: Malaproper Medicine… Malaproper

Now let’s try the super caffeine.

Chapter 5: Thirty-Eight

There was one day this week where I took my Adderall medicine (yeah, I switched to that) and a tiny fucking 5-Hour Energy at once… and it backfired horribly. This was in the morning, and I guess I just wanted to have energy for pickin’ strawberries. It was fun… I saw a monarch caterpillar. But then we went to a family member’s house to see them as they were in the process of moving in… and they had this gold PlayStation 3 controller. I wanted it, because I wanted to play games with it on my computer. I’ve always wanted a wireless thing. But one of the analog sticks got stuck when I turned it around. So after waiting for so long to go home and try to fix it, I took all the screws out and played with it, found out there was a faulty part in the analog stick and I guess I made it better. I tried putting it back together again and again with the main logic board just barely hanging in there with the clips and the rumble motors and the buttons that would often fall out and the battery pack and the trigger buttons and the face buttons and the buttons for buttons and the “and the” and the AAAAAARRRGHH.

I snapped after that. Destroyed the controller’s innards, but not the shell nor the buttons. And then I screamed to my parents on the phone and threatened to call 911. I did not, but even without that, this illustrates the main point: DON’T DO THE ENERGY SHOT. At least when you’re already medicated… even a little bit of caffeine can make me edgy sometimes.

And here’s the current state of the DualShock 3 controller:

Phone Dog

I plan on keeping the gold casing (because it’s something rare) and using it for a cheap, Chinese-made-and-shipped generic controller so it can still serve some useful function.

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