Certified Good Sugar

I was informed I’ll have a doctor’s appointment… at some point. Yeah, I guess I can’t go this Friday because it was scheduled right before one of my college classes. Poor management at least allows me to get more sugar in on the day. Someone please remind me to say how much I hate having blood taken from me… even a finger prick.

I guess sugar is more likely to kill you more than ever. Which is nice, since PepsiCo does seem to be including articial sweeteners alongside normal sugar in the newest products, including those new Mountain Dew Game Fuel varieties. I guess they’re not selling Citrus Cherry this year? That’s a mild disappointment. Then again, I’ve only been to one store, and I had an huge semi-public meltdown after visiting it, so hopefully I have better luck elsewhere. But now we can hype up the new flavors as being extremely brutal and chaotic, much like our current military-industrial complex.

Product Placement

Tropical… Smash, and Arctic Burst. Yeah. I like the former a little better due to its style, but I’d rather have last year’s edition, Mango Heat, come back. I’m also not really in the target audience for this stuff, unless they suddenly decided to do a Team Fortress 2 flavor. They could make it taste like whatever Bonk! Atomic Punch is supposed to be. It’s the raesium… for the caesium. Man, I have to somehow use that in an everyday conversation this holiday season. Hopefully, my blogging content will increase in lockstep.

Now why do I like to talk about this shit so much? Because… well, I don’t see anyone else with the gimmick of being a sugary drink-adjacent blogger. I love a lot of it, and I want to give pointers to other people if they don’t mind getting a head start on premature death. Don’t say I ever enforced people to live longer, because, as far as I’m concerned, I can only do this regarding kindness and compassion.


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