Pink Bori Plushie #2.5: Backed Into a Charity Corner


Let me say that I have a decent track record regarding Neopian events. I competed in Altador Cups IV through X, not doing better than Rank 4 (VI, where my team took second place) in any of them, but I skipped XI, which was won by Mystery Island. I’ve been a member of that team for all my Neopian career, no switching team for me, because I have my Neohome on the island and I’ve enjoyed it for all my life. It’s sunny down there, and why bother with cold New England winters when you can just visit the mountainous regions of Neopia with just a few clicks? But yeah, that pissed me off.

The Faerie’s Ruin remains the only major plot in the history of Neopets I’ve participated in. You could also count Atlas of the Ancients, but that wasn’t a good event by any means. However, I have a disproportionately high amount of Daily Dare and Games Master Challenge event trophies, which makes me look like a mere scrub. I totally missed the Spooky Food Eating Contest and had a mere pittance in regards to the War for the Obelisk, which was counterbalanced by the fact that I joined The Sway. ūüėé

I’ve also missed both prior installments of the Charity Corner, which has quickly become one of the most polarizing yearly events in the history of Neopets… but this most recent third iteration¬†has basically fallen into my lap.

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I Am Content with Merely Existing, and Other True Stories

Let me tell you a quick summary of what I’ve done today:

  • I got up.
  • I did some stuff on Neopets.
  • I listened to the entirety of The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth’s soundtrack (with¬†both expansions) while on Twitter and Neopets.
  • I ate some brownies manufactured by my sister and mother while doing the previous.
  • Finally deciding to do something useful with my life, I started this blog post to tell you about all of this.

So that’s something.

Today, my body is filled with spiteful ennui. I just want to release it, somehow, but my mind is too occupied with doing menial tasks with little dopamine reward. Later on, I will embark on a trip to the community college to continue the Engineering Physics class taught by a Korean. It’s riveting stuff.

I exist. But for how long? Has the ruling class fucked up my future so that I’ll never live as long as my ancestors? Is having a child pointless because of the effects global warming will soon have on harming many people of this planet? Quite frankly, I don’t care. I live for the now, and in my nihilistic state of mind, I exist. I demand pleasure and good experiences. I want to cosplay as a crossdressing male anime character. I want to attain¬†five¬†million Neopoints, or more. I’d like to visit California. And I’d like to accomplish all of these goals within a few years. I don’t have any long-term goals because I have no idea if there will be a long term. But there will be¬†a¬†short term, and I’ll make sure to fight for what is right so that short term can exist for longer. Because while thinking for the future may be foolish, there’s nothing that says it’s wrong for you to extend your present.

And maybe I’ll find a girlfriend at some point. Also, I want to try pot brownies. Or anything with marijuana in it, for that matter. Drugs are good, and so is religion. They make you think life actually has ulterior meaning.

#ThrowbackThursday: On the Trans-Pacific Partnership, Activism, and Hope

Hey kids! Do you feel that the crushing weights of political despair have prematurely ended your crusade to make 2017 a good year? Well, gather around the fire, because I’m going to tell you a story about a time the¬†forces of good claimed victory.

The Trans-Pacific Partnership was a multinational trade agreement that was first conceptualized¬†in 2005. Outgoing president Barack Obama made signing the proclamation a priority of his administration, but as of today, and mostly after the recent presidential election, the deal is basically dead. The United States has basically said they won’t ratify the deal, mostly because of the results of the said¬†election, but also because of the impassioned cries of many activists who have decried the deal since while it was being negotiated. I mean, he suggests we’ll withdraw from the deal on the first day of his presidency. But no matter how much you weigh his influence on the way this deal was scrutinized, the TPP was always a buzzword in the election cycle. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to say that her support of the deal, then criticism of it from all sides followed by a half-hearted withdrawal from it cost Hillary Clinton the presidency. There were probably some voters in Wisconsin who didn’t want the deal to go through.

But… let’s put all of this realpolitik by the wayside for a moment and focus on the part involving us. Ever since said negotiations were going on, Internet activists took¬†aim at the the trade agreement’s copyright provisions. Basically, the people who wrote this trade deal didn’t think very highly of you… the person on the Internet reading this blog post. Among a myriad of stipulations about health care, foreign labor, the ability for corporations to sue governments, and all sorts of low, spooky voodoo, the deal set higher standards for policing the Internet, censorship, and juicing more money out of copyrighted works that should have gone into the public domain by now. Basically, if you remember SOPA, and all of the clout surrounding that set of laws, the corresponding section of the TPP is just gravy on the corporation’s meat pie. And it was negotiated behind closed doors by some people who stood to profit from that shit. Hence why¬†got over 3.6 million people to demand answers on the trade agreement. And you know what? It kind of worked. Though the U.S. government did gain fast-track authority to ratify the agreement with a simple veto, movements like that one increased scrutiny of the deal. And here’s where the real fun begins…

And so they got creative. Fight For The Future, a group I have criticized for somehow still believing that the primary purpose of the Internet is to watch videos of cute animals, organized a series of rock concerts to raise awareness for the agreement. Yes, even in the age of… that guy, people can still be creative. And they can be creative when it comes to protesting. I mean, they got a dude from Rage Against The Machine to topline these concerts. You can’t beat that! And this was in the pits of election season, after both parties had nominated their candidates, so these concerts gave people excuses to have fun, rock the fuck out, and stay woke at the same time. No wonder it was basically the final blow to the deal.

Now, the TPP is not totally dead. I must stress that, because there is still a very niche possibility that the new administration could take up the deal, but it would be at the full scrutiny of the guy covered in Dorito dust. In order to pass, either every country involved needs to ratify it, or at least six countries with 85% of the population’s total GDP (the Unites States represents a big enough chunk that their absence alone will probably kill the agreement) need to sign it by February 4, 2018. And I won’t say that humanity won’t be around by then because it totally will, goddamnit! In times like this, no matter where you are on the political spectrum, you need to have more hope. Hope that your party will eventually win the football bowl and earn money for all the poor people in the country! Let the saga of the TPP¬†be not a tale of woe, but a tale of hope for everyone who dares to fight. In an age where people are cynical and fatalistic about the world, we must remember that it is possible to succeed, no matter how stacked the odds are against us.

And yes, that definitely sounds like the moral of a cheesy kids show, but in this instance, it actually happened. Ha.

A Few Words on Pleasure

Lately, I’ve been thinking: I like to burp. Why? Because it lets me relive the taste of the food I just ate. I don’t know if this is a thing people on the autism spectrum do or if it’s a secret epidemic, but for much of my life, I’ve swallowed up air and burped it back out under my own command. I used to think that this habit was caused because of an allergy to onions. You see, when I eat those, my throat gets all blotchy. It expands, and I think there’s food trapped in there. I used to try to burp it out, but then I realized I was doing it a lot more than that.

Perhaps it is because of my nature as a being that prefers to do most of his fun things inside the house, where socialization is at a minimum, but I think this burping might be how I get my fix of dopamine. When I burp up coffee that was recently drank, I get to experience that nutty flavor with added reactions from the creamer all over again. This habit tends to annoy some people, and it also annoys me, because it means I fall back on such a pointless habit as a way to trigger those pleasure switches. I hate that. It’s a sign of failure from a being that’s always expecting the most unique and personally tailored experiences. So I try not to burp that often anymore, except when I have to. Because, you know, I’m really into Mountain Dew… and many of its fellow companions on the PepsiCo product line.